Things not to say to a veggie ...

With National Vegetarian Week just a few days away, (cue hushed excitement and drum rolls), the vegetarian dating agency (!) website veggieromance.com has revealed the most common and irritating comments ever encountered by vegetarians, according to their "thousands of vegan and vegetarian members".

So here, to get in the spirit of NVW, I shall trying responding to the top ten comments "most likely to get a veggie's goat" ...

1. What do you eat?
I refer you to my article in the May 2006 issue of BBC Good Food magazine, in which I explain fully and exactly what I do and do not eat.

2. How do you get your protein?
By eating it. Sorry, I know what you mean. By eating protein-rich foods. I'm not sure which ones, but I know I eat them.

3. You don't look like a vegetarian.
Yes I do, and you know it.

4. I'm vegetarian too ... apart from chicken ... and fish ... but they don't count.
That's up to you. I eat cheese, so there.

5. You must be tempted by a bacon sandwich?
Are you mad? If I was hungry I might like a sandwich, but without any smelly bacon in it.

6. If it weren't for us (carnivores) there wouldn't be any animals.
You what? Are you saying all animals would stop breeding if nobody wanted to eat them? If there were no carnivores, I suspect there would be more animals, not less. Unless you decided to kill them all anyway.

7. I'm not a vegetarian, but I could never eat a dog or a horse, that's barbaric ...
Interesting. Selective compassion.

8. Don't worry, you'll grow out of it.
I doubt it.

9. Here's some lettuce.
Thanks, what's that for?

10. Why?
Because the thought of eating meat makes me feel sick.